Managing Challenging Behaviors During Conversations
No matter how well we prepare for a conversation, we sometimes encounter behaviors that can stall a discussion. These situations require tact, patience, and a strategic approach to keep the discussion on track and constructive. Below are three common conversational problems you may face with employees, along with practical tips on how to handle each scenario. By applying tailored communication strategies, you can foster more effective conversations and promote a healthier work environment.
1. Ray the Repeater
A "repeater" is someone who continually brings up the same concern, even after the issue has been addressed. For example, Ray raised his concern about not receiving data on time for his quarterly report, the data was coming from another department. After discussing the issue with Ray and coordinating with the other department to create a solution, the problem seemed resolved. However, Ray continues to bring it up, expressing his dread about the next report cycle.
In this case, the supervisor has already listened and taken steps to resolve the issue. Ray’s repetition may seem like nagging, but it often stems from a feeling of not being truly heard. To handle this, consider the following approach:
Acknowledge Ray's concern: Listen to him and reassure him that the plan in place will solve the problem.
Address the repetition: If Ray brings it up again, respond by saying, “Ray, we’ve discussed this issue. I believe the plan we have in place will resolve your concern. Is there anything else I can do or say to help you feel more supported?”
This may prompt Ray to share additional concerns, or he may realize he has been heard and stop repeating the issue.
2. Paige Won’t Engage
In this scenario, Paige is either bringing you a problem or you are bringing one to her attention, but she refuses to engage in finding a solution. After you present the problem and ask for her input, she responds with, “I don’t know.” Despite multiple attempts to involve her in the conversation, she continues to offer no solutions.
Here’s how to approach this situation:
Give Paige a chance to contribute: State the problem clearly and ask for her ideas. If she doesn’t offer any input, reiterate the importance of her involvement by saying, “Since this issue affects you and the team, I’d like to hear your thoughts on resolving it.”
Acknowledge reluctance: If she’s still not engaging, say, “I understand you might be hesitant to share your perspective, but we need to address this, and I value your input.”
Set clear expectations: If Paige continues to avoid engaging, move forward by stating, “I’ve asked several times for your input, and since we need to resolve this, here’s what I propose we do…”
This approach gives Paige ample opportunity to participate while ensuring that the issue is still addressed if she refuses to engage.
3. Navi the Negative
We all know "Navi the Negative" - someone who responds to new ideas or changes with immediate negativity. Whether it's out of fear of change or an attempt to appear intelligent, this behavior can derail productive conversations. The key is to stop negativity from controlling the interaction and guide the conversation towards a more constructive direction. Here are some steps to handle this behavior:
Interrupt politely: If Navi is going on and on about the negatives, say their name and look them in the eyes. Speak calmly and clearly, repeating their name until they stop talking. For example, “Navi, let’s pause for a moment.”
Take control with questions: Redirect the conversation by asking, can you explain what you meant by ___?” or “What specifically are you concerned about?” They will most likely not have any details or reasons for their concerns this one question often stops the negative comments.
Finish the conversation by paraphrasing what they said: Summarize what Navi has said in your own words to show you understand and ask for confirmation. For example, “Let me make sure I’m hearing you correctly. Are you saying ___?”
After you paraphrase him, you can ask:
▪ “Is that your point?”
▪ “Do I understand you correctly?”
▪ “Is that what you were trying to say?”
Ask him more questions until he clarifies his thinking.
Another tactic Navi the negative may try is to distract you with irrelevant points. Stay focused on the core concern.
It is important in all these conversations to keep your voice tone neutral and calm. By using these techniques, you can manage difficult behaviors more effectively and foster a more collaborative and positive work environment. I use all these techniques, and I know they work! Give it a try!